Friday, July 31, 2009

Why I am not a real man.

just a pic from this am, did my cicuit got the papers 10 sp of wader at the sewage plant. 4 Solit Sands, either their Migration route has shifted, or there are more of them. I am now averaging 20 a year easily, with 7 in a day once. No land birds of note. Slowly getting warm, expecting my long time birding Chum Claude E tomorrow, will be fun to spend the day birding with something that talks back, Terriers are limited. Hell Claude and I go back 35 years,and he is on my list of "If you go after him, you go through me" friends, his companion Mike is in the same "Pod". Two of the nicest human beings you could ever hope to meet, have not seen him in ten or more years. It is good to have REAL totally honest friends. They are hard to find. If you find one DO not lose them, and defend them like a rabid dog.
I digress.
I come in from birding.
OH silly Me, the following is not to be used as an example of Male hostility, or how a marriage can be destroyed after 36 years, copied By Dr Phil, or in anyway used to describe my sexual predilictions, political views, the non status of my bank account, is in compiance with nafta bbc and other regulations. Illegal copying will result in a sudden bang on the door and SWMBO will be parking her broom and cauldron with you for a week. People who are not tough enough to eat real SPAM, with the salty snot on top should stop here. Contains no MSG and only 25% of the total daily requirement of bullshit. Can cause sleep deprivation, suicide, enlarged gonads, bleeding, vomiting, voting republican. Am I the only one fed up with that stuff. Why don't cars have a warning sticker on them like drugs ? I am sure GM and Ford kill more people a year and should have warning stickers on their product bigger than the ones on my sun tan cream ?
Oh Manliness
Here is a conversation for your entertainment. M is Me S is SWMBO PD is the "Perfect Dickhead " from down the street. It is a one act play.
Please feel free to adapt it and use it at your local Playhouse.
The scene, the kitchen of a modest rental in Blythe it is early morning and the temperature is rising. The front yard contains 3 large Pine trees whose fallen needles poison the soil killing the Grass, that S is trying to nurture. There is sufficient greenery in the 40 by 20 foot area, that a gram of Crystal Meth and 3 continuation school student drop outs could get it done with nail scissors in 30 minutes
M entering from right, with bag of optics in one hand the newspapers in the other.
S Can't you shut the door after you ?
M I have my handsfull !
S Isee ( heavy on the sarcasm)
M piles stuff on table turns around and shuts door. Move camera in close to catch the here we go again look on his face, sits down and realises the coven has decreed something,
M Did you notice the lawn needs mowing ? (Pan camera to lawn you could play an entire NFL season on and never bend a blade ).
M Frankly no .
S Thats typical of you, you don't care about the yard.
M For christs sake we live in the desert we can gravel it and Xeroscape it for nothing. The gravel is free and.....
S (Back turned stalks to the refridgerator ) I suppose you would like a cold drink ? Well they are in here, I will go get the lawnmower.
M (under muffled breath) Go ahead knock yourself out, like i give a shit to start with.
M (Gets on phone with splendid friends mike and Claude, S walks off stage left and leaves door and gate both open Terriers run off down street. S bursts in and shrieks)
S You let the dogs out you asshole
M No you did.
S Ok, I did, what are we going to do?
M We are doing nothing. You let them out you catch them.
SHORT INTERMISSION as the rest of the converation is deleted due to foul untrue language, blood spitting, hurling of snake bundles , hob goblins, hob thrushes, and assorted shrieking of vile curses, and threats of bowel twisting ,cramping of the groins and head swelling. M slowly closed the door and went back to his cross word.
Time passes M wanders aimlessly through the hhouse picking up a book finding something interesting he drags out another book and soon a Mont Blanc of literature, sufficient to hide behind is bequeathed to the kitchen table. Rap at the door.
S and PD clutching terriers. Toss them im in,M closes screen door.
s and PD scan M and say in unison, with vibratto and pathetic fear.
In unison
S and PD, You are in your pyjamas already at 10:30 in the morning ?
M No if you were to be aware you will notice I am wearing a loose cotton top, which also serves as a Night shirt, and baggy cotten pyjama pants which are also light weight , and in this weather are supremely comfy. You may have noticed other people on the face of the god damn earth in similar climates, wearing the same fu999g stuff. And quite frankly at sixty I will wander around with nothing but a ...
S and PD exit rapidly.
Pan to view through front window. S and PD fussing over lawnmower. Gets started amidst giant clouds of blue smoke. S starts shoving lawnmower backwards and forwards generating carbon emissions larger than a Diplodocus footprint, or a barn of flatulent rhinos.
m sighs and hunches over computer, door bell rings. This is of course a real bell like Wols including a tuft of eeyores tail(actually my horse and it does have the sign)
M Opens door thoughtfully.
PD You know if you were a real man you would mow the lawn for your wife
( Intermission I have never had a more perfect set up in my life,. I just could not believe he said that. I almost fell over. Gosh it was perfect. I was stunned for a second at his naeivity ")
M ( screaming with laughter inside )
M You know what I thought you were an asshole, but if YOU want to be a real man then why don't you go and mow the lawn, for my wife. That is the best F---g trade I have ever heard of, good luck with putting up with her, and trim the edges"
M Slams door
The end
I have not seen either of them since.
Looks like it is Fried British Spam,and HP baked beans on toast with a splash of Lee and Perrins and a cold Guinness for dinner tonight.My care package of imported british foods arrived from Barry at the tea cosy Ah the food of Princes It sure is nice and quiet around here.
Won't last, probably met up with the covern. My right leg is kinda swelling.
All for fun. Unless of course you are here !

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Some pics and needless comments

No idea what the Flytcher is doing in there need to go back and figure out what it is. Unless someone has a bright idea. Having a nice day. Cave Swallow confirmed, another Blythe beauty. Now except for a short whisk around the "Circle" and a grab of Pravda West (the press republican diatribe, gosh what a biased rag, the press enterprise. Done with it today, will pay 25c more for the Desert Sun from now on) stayed in the relative cool of the house. Thermostat set at 82F. This is a new energy efficient double glazed ,mega insulated home, my electric bill was $356 last month, go figure.
When I turn on the TV and there are a talking heads sweating the brands of beer these three chumps are drinking at a peace making pow wow this afternoon. Shit who cares. I am half watching this commentary right now some asshole just said and I quote "In order for this meeting to have a reflection on America, it should have been american beer for everyone" Please america march on the studios and strangle these idiots. Then go after the ones who had the "Exclusive" interview in "an Exclusive location" only to be seen on this channel, with Michael Jacksons Chef.
Has this once powerful country, I adopted , and call my own. Been destroyed by mediocrity. The cold war could not do it, but I am thinking the Communists thought up reality shows, and "Americas got an endless list of deluded idiots who think they have Talent, or are idols " is linked to a Satellite.That the North Koreans then put on tv to suck the brain power and inventiveness out of the average vacuous TV addicted American mind. No wonder "You think you are smarter than a fifth grader" makes me cringe. I think with the way we are headed "So prove you are dumber than a 2nd Grader" will be the hit next year. Coz if you go in the Blythe gene pool we can win it easily.
Disgruntled in Blythe !
Maybe I will be gruntled tomorrow !

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Racial profiling, and bird record profiling

Now this is going to take some serious typing. But I am not going anywhere fast, got a bit of excess heat, chasing swallows. So its indoors with the fan going and a giant glass of god damn sugar free non carbohydrate lite no msg fat removed organic sodding salt free Lemonade. SWMBO will do anything to kill me.I will wait til she hits the bathroom, and at least squeeze a lemon into it, so it does not not taste and look like Kangeroo Piss.
Sorry the heat !
I am so amazed at the current lack of intelligence displayed by the news media !I have started watching the farming channel RFD in the mornings. I can spout Pork Belly futures, you want to know about Barley prices I am in. Model railroads. Cutting horses, I can watch them all day long. In fact I may do that tomorrow, cattle auctions, learning how to shout the prices ! Awesome.
Anything to get away from Michael Jackson. Why in the name of (insert anything you find Holy) are we as a nation wasting all this time, effort, TV time and tax payers money, so psycho people who have never seen him can carry candles and "He was a hero" themselves on to TV. I am sorry it is my blog and I can write what I want.
Michael Jackson was a child molesesting bankrupt drug addict with no nose, who had the talent of a snail, owed his career to the parasitic family, Gordy, Motown and the media saprophytes. I am tired of this fool who never impressed me, who has been nothing for 15 years screwing up my TV news. Where the Hell was the media when Sid Barret died, a far more talented musician. (For those under 30 a founding member of Pink Floyd) Heavens above can't Tom Hanks dance on a sofa, or Oprah get naked, or some one declare they are gay and kiss on TV or the Batcherolette strip amd shew she is a man, so we have some real news ? Heck I guess the genocide and starvation in the world has stopped. I sure am glad of that. Otherwise we would hear about it. The news people in this country are so quick to say "The state radio/tv/media, has refused to transmit information concerning the situation in the Northern provinces choosing to transmit select information"
Explain to me why nbc , abc, cbs, choose to transmit information about Michael Jackson, the Octomom, and a pig that adopted a kitten.Is that not select information. What else is happening in the US? I have serious problems with todays TV news media.
Which extends to mty next comment racial profiling
I have been racially profiled, I am English, a blue blood Englishman, (Colour and Race combined) and I have been arrested by the police handcuffed, put in a squad car and taken to jail. There I confessed, it was a humiliating experience and it was all my fault.Now I am not known for my tact, and over the last 12 years I have learned to temper my mouth. I must admit sometimes I have put myself in situations where sub conciously I need to argue with a passing cop ! I annoyed Peppermint Patty so much, I like to think I caused her to transfer. It always makes standing by the road , standing on the roof of your truck with the scope, facing on coming traffic and not seeing anything in a flooded field entertaining. I am a man of simple pleasures. But I learned one fateful day in Imperial Co not to push it. The chap I entered in to with a war of logic, which I felt I was winning was at the end of his shift, hot and pissed off (I found out later, when we talked he had pulled a double shift, and his wife was pissed) And I was wagging my gob and being a smart ass, and gleefully listing all the people I could call to make his life miserable because......He grabbed me spun me around , pulled my arms back, cuffed me and put me in the back of his Patrol Car. He locked up my car , gave me the Keys back and called dispatch to call my wife. That learned me, nice fellow I taught his son
Now where was the Bishop of Liverpool etc jumping up and down about my "Whitey' and "Limey " rights ? I am sick of this racial profiling garbage, I have had Black people who are friends who have said " Oh He is from england , he is our tame limey" I don't mind , they were good friends. I have had white people shout "hey whats up limey" Good friends also.Is that not racial profiling ?
I have kids walking up and down the corridors at school shouting "Hey Nigger what you up to" yes , white kids do it as well, to other white kids. The word Nigger has become a word meaning "Yo de dog". But I say to a black person "Hey Nigger get my groceries" I am wrong. Times are changing folks, it is not the "N" word for todays youth. It has lost its real meaning at last, thank you deity.
Oh Racial profiling.
If a cop tells you to shut up,it is wise to comply I do not care if you are the head legal nigger at Princeton. The cop is usually stressed, overworked, and the last thing he wants is someone jumping his ass, qouting law , civil rights, and your credentials, and probably waving a cane in his face.Plus the Cop has a gun, a club, mace, and handcuffs which he is trained to use,and there were 3 others. Wit, education, pHds and colour lose .The man was a complete idiot, I suggest Princeton re-evaluate his tenure, tact , anger management, and sensibility. Got to go see how anna nicole smiths kids are doing, and if they dug her up again. Busy Busy busy

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Just pics, rain Jethro Tull and stuff

The first green fluff ball in my last pac-o-pics, is my record shot of GC Kinglet, I have no idea how the hell that got in their. May just submit it as Blythe Foliage Gleaner.And the Merlin, looked very much like a female "Black" Merlin which would be a very odd record for the desert, but they have made it to New Mexico. The rest you can figure out I am sure. Please remember all my pics are from within a 15 mile radius of my home near the Colorado River, and in California. Occaisionally I wander up to to Styx which is 25 miles away, and an higher altitude to look for Canyon Towhee. So it actually is quite remarkable the number of species and opportunities you can find in a DUMP like this. Thats my, Christ its 114 at 2pm,the wind is blowing and the humidity is rising again, and I want to go birding grumpiness coming through. I have already straightened my cubicle twice even SWMBO approved, and immeditely moved in with what looked like a white rastafarian, held by the legs that she dipped head first in a bucket of eye watering cleanser, and proceeded to wash the floor with. Poor fellow, she just plunged into the toilet. I have locked the door. White tiles, neat ! I know what I will do.


My son, I raise the fruit of my loins good, pobly bester than most ! For my Birthday, sent me a kind of thing like a photo album for cds. Many years ago I introduced him to Jethro Tull, and he gobbled it up, and become a huge fan. How big ? He knows I love the band too. The "Photo album " has 30 CD's in it. Just fired up Thick as a Brick, might as well type and try and get through them all !
Rain ?
I was in K Mart, in the gardening section buying $10, 25 lb bags of bird seed for $2:29. "Half price clearnce" Thats what the sign said . You go figure. Somewhere I have a sign I stole from Albertsons selling "CHEST NUTS" last Xmas. I ponder it periodically, in awe. Anyway at the back of one of the ill stocked shelves was a box with "Radio Controlled Rain Gauges" in it , it proclaimed. Now I have a fondness for messing with Radio Controlled stuff, I am still mastering my radio controlled Dragonfly. Radio controlled Rain ? I am in like Flynn. Turns out you get a rain gauge and a thing you have in the house the tells you it is raining connected by wireless. $25. I think not. Rapid negotiating with former student. I got 2 for $5 . I gave one to perfect neighbour Joe, who has not stopped laughing after I told him it comes with an alarm to tell you when its raining. Last time I buy him anything !.
Set mine up, on the outside fence. God damn alarm went of several times. I got 11 inches of rain the night before last,, and 3 inches already today. Moved it. It was at the lowest part of the fence where the Giant Raccoon from Hell jumps over to steal cat food and the cat jumps over to see if there is any food left.They rattle the treadle !! So I moved it
BIrd pics. A couple of fun pics , a Bank Swallow in Blythe is always nice, I had to ry my patience until the waders coincided, and please explain why , I do not have a picture of a Cave Swallow ?
Just took a swift look at my rain guage, still not raining.

Be good to one another.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Try ah gain

Spent an inordinate amount of pre dawn time downloading this meager offering. The joys of landline only. Thankyou verizon, up to 15 mins a pic. I will spend my post prandial time trying again. as Vivian Stanshall wrote
"A pale sun poked impudent marmalade fingers through the griizzle blind shadowed glass, and sent the shadows scurrying, like convent girls menaced by a tramp "
It is happening right now . Time to grab the birding bag and rush.
More later


Sorting pictures, send them as they come . They are varied I no idea what you will end up with !well that is all you get for now,if that gets through for some reason it won't accept pictures, and computer froze. Apologies. Will try again

It's about time Pictures only.

I am headed out birding, but when I get back I will start sorting my pictures and clearing up my troglodytic hovel from which I type. I find that instead of the boring tile, a scattering of LPs, bird books , VHS tapes,
cd cases without the correct cd in them, Album covers without albums in them, notes to myself which I never followed through on 2 hats a shirt, the Gandalf staff I never finished a Blackthorn cane from SW Ireland, optical equipment an old Canon Film camera I am messing with trying to figure out how to use the lenses on my digital, maybe duct tape, a stuffed chicken(dog toy) and 2 sleeping dogs. and a cat. I do not have a clue what is in that Xmas light stable and farm box, but I know it is not that. SWMBO has that in her Witch room, surrounded by horse figurines. Some kind of curse causing alter methinks.I look around A cowboy hat that does not fit me on the lamp, and my CORRECTLY folded by a registered Harley Hells Angel american flag bandana, which I wore with complete leathers when I rode "Bitch" on a Harley with others. One of the most exciting days of my life ! Among the nicest folk I ever met.
I find it quite attractive and homely.
I look around and realise there is not enough time to relate the next five shelves. How to explain the radio controlled mouse I built, the wireless rain gauge and the cricket cabin.Amongst other stuff!!
Gone birding. Pics later

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Birds are good parents !

My last teaching blog was most depressing !
So on a cheerful note note, here is the entire family of Verminousillian Flycs that nested in the Cemetery. As you can see one was a daddies boy and went everywhere with him ,and the other two chased Mom around. Light was working against me a bit at first light that sunday but you takes what you can get !

Todays teaching, sorry if the truth bothers you.

Where to begin ?
I hope offended none with my last dialogue. But "Thats the way it is" Thankyou Walter C!
I should, as should have many honest teachers failed one third of all students who hit the 9th grade. These are our freshman. But as our talents as teachers are based on the number of the "Little Jewels" passing. No one dares. It is going to be even funnier when we get pay raises based on test scores, as proposed !The eighth graders take a test and based on their scores, certain teachers hand pick their students. Boy do they do well on tests. 22 to a classroom, children who don't eat glue. Loving it. Me, I get the stuff that does not go through the seive. Do not mind, my choice. Kind of fun really. I have refused to take the other option twice. I think my option keeps me young you never know what will happen. The chosen few option would bore me in minutes, yes Mr Higson, No Mr higson, "How come I only was awarded 97% on that lab, my mother will go to the school board " Mine, they have a toilet seat as a hall pass to the bathroom, Which says"I could not hold it so I am holding this" Well I did until one of my more deranged hip hop gang banging east siders(They are the Blacks) not to be confused with West Siders (They are the Mexicans) Seperated by the North /South railroad track. We no longer have train service another story. Smashed on the water fountain and threw it through my classroom door before leaving campus. I digressThe tales I ccan tell. Another time. Grades ,grading and the final exam. And who wins a tour and dinner !
I inform every class that the state test is based on an eight grade supposed knowledgs of the earth, and that if they come to class try their best, behave and hand in the work. They will pass. Fair enough so far ?
I also explain that I need their name , written so I can read it, the date, and the period number on it so I can give the points to the right person, this is written on the board and is referred to once a week. "If you do not do this I will throw it away as I am not spending my personal time figuring out who you are". All year I have thrown away 10% of all work, even the last week! I even had 9 final exams without a name on. You can't teach stupid.
When it comes to grades.
I admit to being biased.If a child battles to pass my class with honest effort and is close to that D I will pass them. If a person who has jerked me around all year is close to that D I won't. They are not gettimg away from me. Screw social promotion Make friends with the next batch of freshmen. By year 3 they are the best students and TA's. Can't graduate unless you get through me. It is amazing what a little humiliation will do to a class bully. Friends are graduating, and "you have not passed Higsons class, man you are stupid, why don't you quit hassling him and do the work, idiot" I had a fourth year retread this year, working on the six year plan.He caught on at last. Now has grown up, a good kid.
That means they will have to hate me for another year.
Don't like sue me !
I have a lot of barely english speaking immigrant stugents ,and "Special needs " students (Remember the seive process) and many migrant workers children. I wish that was all I had. Their manners are impeccable, they are polite and respectful. As the foreign schools they have left behind expect parental involvement and their parents know how important an education is.The special ed kids are just happy that someone says "Hi to them in the corridor, and lets them come in your classromm and get equal attention " I had two special ed kids get the only Bs in one class, and they busted their asses to get them.
Then we have the , "My daddy is a rich Farmer, and knows everyone which means I can do what I want" group. These usually tend to be the "Oh you know, I just can't belive how bitchin my new truck is, Tiff got one too, and we are going to have a two kegger party on my dads party boat this weekend, wanna come" "group. Yes 9th Graders. Are you catching on yet.16 2 kids. Because I tell them they can all come and talk to me in confidence, nothing will scare me , either seen it , heard it or done it, and I won't judge but help. I get some very confused children. Two young ladies came in super early, I am there by 5:45 most days, and wanted to talk. "Is it all right for us to have sex together, and sleep with our boyfriends, should we tell them" I promise you they were not jerking my chain. I talked to the boys. They just said "Yeah we do it" very nonchalantly, like no biggy. No protection, nothing.
Guess how old?

Eldest just turned 15.

Any way I wander.
At last final exams.
In order to conserve Scantrons, admin missive. Anyone with an A got to sit out (12 students for the day) and read colour or whatever.
Anyone below 45% who did not stand a chance of making 60% if they got every answer right (Test 10% ), were axed (45 for the day)
That left me the hopefuls. Now you understand I gave them the test questions, a weekor more earlier, two days in class to work in groups, graded the papers and pointed out the wrong answers. Which on a multiple guess test leaves you 3 choices They had four days to study, some five..
48 questions 2 hours.
I trust you are phoning the school administration to bitch about my final exam. (Two parents did because "Pookie" failed, because of the difficult final, and will not be able to cheerlead neaxt year. The Superintendant was dragged into it. Still failed them the little spoiled vicious ,snotty little shits. This town is haves and have nots. The entire cheerleader team came in a few years ago in tears because I failed one.Did nothing but nails, 27%. But Mr Higson can't you change it to a C? Why ? Her dad was going to buy her a Suburban so we could all go to the beach in La Jolla at their condo, if she got straight Cs . Make different travel plans ladies )
Any way
Results.0.91% got over 90%,
2% over 80%,
5% over 70%,
6% over 60%
The rest managed as low as low as 3%,
Like it was said you can lead a kid to knowledge but you can't MAKE them learn. The bottom line is they don't give a shit. They think everything will just keep magicly appearing. I am quite serious, they have no work ethic, and no motivation. Parents don't give a shit. Their plans for the future are not formed until about wednesday, and cover the upcoming weekiend. Beyond that? I asked a kid once, what his plans where? I quote "Oh I'll just fuck off like my dad did? Wheres your dad, oh in the prison, they got it good there?". Perfectly true.
So if you have a person who is thinking of entering the teacher profession have them call me.There may be time to save them !
Like I have stated many times in public, teaching nowadays has gone from imparting knowledge to herding sheep to the knowledge sheep dip in the hope some will fall in. Send more sheep dogs !
Next time I will tell you about my other job !
I am in charge/principal of the "Oh my God I need to get 10 credits by thursday because I turn 18 and the school will toss me and I do not have a High School Diploma " school for screw ups. We meet Mondays and Thursdays. You would be amazed how a teenagers attitude and work ethics can change almost in front of you.
When you say "You ran out of options, this is your last chance, and if you don't do what I tell you , then you will not graduate with your friends, nor get a diploma"
I have the full backing of the Administration, and they come ina nd say"If he does not think you should graduate you won't You will be over 18 and we need the space"
It takes a few for it to set in but I reinforce it. You would be amazed at how much high quality work these "Rubbish" kids can turn out, when they know they can't fuck the system any more, (they can't go to someone and say "I did not throw the chair , he's picking on me because I am :pick something:, and snigger as you get hauled into the office to explain) .
They have some kind of authority figure who is an equal opportunity hateful son of a bitch . BUT, We all play to the same rules. I am all for level playing fields.
Anyway, another topic another time. Enough for one Blog
Take care, and don't become a teacher unless you have skin like a Rhino

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Not for the faint of heart. Warned you. Part one test results

Thought I would start off with a bird having more luck than humans at teaching their young.
Classrooms are now basicly jungles, there is no respect for authority, there is no concistent administration. 8 principals in 10 years. All of whom have a different philosophy, and want classroom procedures to change. No consistency. The state changes the rules every year. We teach to a test, because of that criminal Bush. The rules change every year. The staff changes every year. As people bail. People get laid off because of budgets and notification deadlines. They find they have the money and have to go find new teachers.Bluthe recruits teachers from the Phillipines. Nice people sure, but whats wrong with Riverside. Answer . They get them at minimum wage, more than back home , wait for their visa to run out and go get more. No Joke..
Earth science was a Lab Science, max 28 students, 5 sections equalled 140 students. Good. New classrooms designed for that.Policy change, Earth science now a text book class. Went to 6 sections and shortened the classroom time. I started the year with 215 students,all 9th grade, retreads, and recidovists.You do he classroom numbers.Not enough chairs and tables.Periods are 50 minutes, so by the time you have them calmed down sat and taken attendence, you have 40 if you are lucky. Peridically you have to take away i-pods and collect text messengers equipment and fill out the paper work, another 5 minutes. Guaranteed another 5 minutes putting wanderes back in their seats. Then there is the inevitable 'You go fuck yourself you nigger fucking ho" outburst.Then you have the "Mr Higson can I go to the bathroom interruption" ie they just got a text message and wish to reply in the bathroom or the text is from the other half to meet outside. Then you have to explain why when you say NO, you mean it ! Then after you explain the assignment which is written on the board you have to find pencils for kids who have sat there 10 minutes for doing nothing. Then you ask Jorge why aren't you doing anything ? "Oh what are we doing" This leaves for a good quality 10 minutes. Do not get me wrong I have some great students, but there should be some way of putting them together, and letting me have a fun couple of periods. And just stick the dregs in another class, where I can baby sit them.I had one class with 6 of the brightest students in. Polite and willing to learn. All got 100%, not by my efforts but theirs. Same class 3 students 0%, they came to school to socialize and disrupt. Yes thats right 0%. Not a pencil touched paper. Two others where in and out of Juvy Hall, plus one was a halfed stoned sniggerer, and her totally stoned sidekick. Getting the picture.
"Why don't you just fucking shut up asshole nobody gives a fucking shit about school anyway" Greeted one of my lectures !
About 30% live on the move, different house every week or in cars. Probably 70% one parent, the other in the local prison. the list goes on.
People just seem to savour their schhol days but society is crumbling.
Hell you cry, you are just a shitty teacher. I think not, I was head of the Science department, at one school mentor teacher at this school and got some Presidential thing for my "I love me wall" , signed with his own rubber stamp somewhere. May have tossed it. New teachers come to me for advice, and in tears. You would be frightened in some classes, I have gone in and broken up. Teachers should not be scared to go into their rooms
I have 3 simple classrooms. Every year we get a motivational speaker who explains how to write up our classroom rules by working with the students input, and discussing what they think will make for a calm learning environment you can work in with mutual respect. Where do they find these nutters?
My rules written for all to see.
RULE 1. Do not screw with anyone or anything in this room, or I will screw with you. And I have had years of practice and I am good.
RULE 2. There is no rule 2.
RULE 3 Reread rule one.
Participation in classroom policy my butt.
Due to budget cuts I may have 210 students this next year. Boy California sure loves education.
Enough for one day.
A person can only absorb so much doom and gloom.
A student asked me just how old was I?
My answer "Old enough to be dead before you guys take over"
And I mean it.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sam I am , pets and birds.

There is no point in bitching about the weather any more. If you have not caught on to the fact that Blythe in July is not good.You are obviously not sentient.I found out way back that when I leave the store where I buy crickets for my classroom reptiles , I have 8 minutes to get them to school otherwise they quite literally melt. Hence, my invention, the "Cricket Cooler". Soon to be available from the shopping channel ! "$1;00 each"
If you buy three, you get an extra one, and you only pay shipping and handling. Of only ( an undisclosed number to be decided by me !)
Pets ? Sat looking at Samuel H Adams, back up to my pal Guinness. What a dedicated mess.We go with "Sam I am", as he looks like Dr Seuss designed him after several beers ! None of the bits match. I am thinking Chihuahua x Dachsund x Rhodesian Ridgeback x Golden Retriever x whatever male dog was passing by at the time. After the enormous fun I had describing my last pound hound as a Dublin Terrier, I am pondering something a bit more American. His front legs go in the wrong direction which would make climbing trees easy, by cluthching them, and he has a powerful back end, and is a fabulous retriever. Thinking Cameron County Squirrel Hound, you only find them in the swamps of Loooeasy-anna ! Any way his picture is posted !So if you meet him you will know his name.How do you get good pets, after you have lost a best one ? Go to the pound, on a whim,like I did with Guinness and you will know the moment. Walk down death row and look in their eyes. When that set of eyes clicks, get it. I assure you it does not matter what the Hell it looks like. It is yours. Sam was a just caught stray, a ghetto rat,was filthy and infested with matted hair. SWMBO said"Look at this beautiful Spaniel" "What are you holding". "My god". I waited the required 5 days, took him to the beautification parlour. And his pic is above ! It is strange looking back over 40 years of pet ownership, and there have been many from snakes to horses . The only pets I have had problems with have been ones I have said "We are buying a...." Only done it twice both disasters
. But everything else has found us.
"I paid $300 for this Siamese cat and it bites" this officious lady was saying,( I felt I needed a Siamese cat to replace my previous George for some reason),as I walked in the Devore pound. Damn thing is still bugging me 12 years later. My horses, swmbo had to put down her beloved Hawkwind, a Hunter horse out of Northern Dancer. I told her wait, something will happen. Month later, she crossed paths with a coastel chap with too many horses, and a major recession lack of funds, who had a beautiful 3 year old gelding I looked at. He paid $14000 for it off the track. I have the papers here, from the seller and the Jockey Club. It is out of Secretariat , Seattle Slew some other stupid one toed cow, those who know drool about.
I did not pay anything close to that, knock a zero off. Cash flow. So I used up my medical funds. I did not need another camera anyway !
Net result, stunning looking Race Horse, and the coven leader out of the house all day polishing it, and boasting to the rest of the Horse bitches from Hell. Hopefully they will get sick of it, and turn her into a Newt ! Worth every damn penny..
I guess I need a conclusion !
My point is if you need a pet do not go to a puppy mill/pet store/ breeder, check out the pound first. Or hang until some one says. I am sick of this pet, you will probably find it is the pet sick of the owner.
Of course there are exceptions to that rule, my ringed parrot Gus would tear my eyes out in a second, unless I am clutching an apple slice in trembling hands. You can't show fear with that one !
Birds essentially none, they moved on from the sewage plant over night. And barely anything replaced them. But a nice Yellowlegs, and a Pied Billed Grebe, getting orientated for tomorrow night. The space shuttle will be visible after it leaves the Space Station, and both will pass as seperate bright lights in The North tomorrow night. And a twitter bird, of the desert variety.
Stay out of the heat. Roger

Sunday, July 19, 2009


Good morrow. I love aphorisms. Some adult people recognise them, kinda , but not really and the youth of today won't hear you as they have their i-pods in their ears.
I just finished a most splendid scathing letter to the paper ending with "You can't make a silk purse etc " It was fun. My father used to love to mix them up. His favourite was "It's like water off a ducks back, in one ear and out the other" Sage nodding. He did actually chuckle and approve my effort "Nevr mind.It's all just spilt milk under the bridge" Yes it is 4 am and the system is in motion. It will probably grind to a halt around noon.Why?
Too hot, and a dear chum dropped off 5 boxes of VHS tapes from an estate sale. Ancient TV shows, assorted movies, and tons of bootlegged stuff from the BBC, early second city live and SNL. Tuna fishing, Nat geog you name it. I did come across a naughty one, in part. Played it 127 times, my response "Gosh is she agile or what " and a deep sense of envy ! Such is age !!!
One set is the entire "I claudius " BBC suite it appears. Have to dig into that. I remember years ago when it was on BBC tv, my little brother coming to dinner and saying he was watching , enunciation "I Klav-divs " Stunned silence. My father caught on as the titles where writtin in stone at the beginning in Roman writing. "I CLAVDIVS " Roman stone masons not making U's, but they did invent the seriph. Sorry Paul !
Will attach some pics from yesterday.
Go Tom Watson.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Sounds like a plan.

Shit its hot.
Going to pick up my other broken vehicle, at 4 am tomorrow, The work shop is so hot, they only have a fan, they start at 7pm.Took my oven thermometer for fun. The inside of my Jeep was 123F, we pushed it into the garage with gloves. I warned you.Birded the circle , in the afternoon heat. Some/ a few nice waders will post pictures, on this. They are somewhat blurry, for two major reasons, one heat haze, two engine running so it does not boil over and three hand held. Damn it let me try that again. Amongst the many and varied reasons the........ Still nice to see different plumages of transitory migrants.
Damn redundancy again, how can you be a non transient Migrant.
Will down load pics.
Assuming this machine allows.
Regards rh

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Burrowing owls.

Please if you need an "Athene cunicularia" (Need to translate that name, sounds vaguely rude!) . Do not call me.
After hours of bartering and trading and discussion elitist, self centered,group the AOU. I finally struck up an agreement.
Burrowing Owls will be on this sign from Dawn until 10, mandatory snack break. All owls will dicscuss working conditions , heat , lunchroom priviledges, etc before voting on the afternoon session ie whether to do it or not.AS they pointed out. This is to be an autonomous collective and not to be ruled by the CRBC,or any one else claiming patterns of distribution, as they mentioned "They did not vote for them" They also stated " no person writing a bird book, who has a map of America, and some coloured felt tips will lock us into a proletariot state, with their artsy fartsy colouring skills.We are free to move about despite your colouring profiling" They ask that they not be approached or molested as they do their duty. And pointed out, that if you can't slow your chase car, stop and look around in the right habitat . Then you do not need to see one,
All in fun Rh
Oh. my goodness, people will be offended, the AOU ? Its the American Owls Union.I can't think of another pompous narcissistic self indulgent science group with that Acronym. If YOU can then ........ shame on you


Random thoughts !
My word is that a childish title
to start off an intellectually stimulating diatribe. Sorry, still busts me up. Other ones, the PETA one you have to get very very close to, bins help,BIG first letters and the rest, tiny, tiny letters. People Eat Tasty Animals. And one that cracked me up 30 plus years ago as I rode the elevator /lift to the bio floor at UCLA.Scrawled on the wall was "Archeduke Franz Ferdinand IV found alive and living in La Jolla. World War one, all a mistake "
Now you know my level of humour. Time passes.
The TV this morning took me back exactly 40 years.
I watched Apollo 11 land on the moon with my dad, drinking Lager and eating Bratwurst and saurkraut in the bar just outside the us air base. Frankfurt,with US airmen as the black and white feed came through from the USA on Forces TV. I was stunned. Where were you !
Probably a full 60% of my students , do not believe we landed on the moon. Thanks Fox network
I am going to play my new "Its too hot: bored Game" It is the
"After possibly faked death of Michael Jackson game" Its easy.You go down to Goose Flats, and lay down in one of the critter infested stagnant ponds, and see how many blood sucking parasites, media idiots and bottom feeding carnivores,trash,and scum sucking lawyers you can attract in a week.
I thought of the idea, stay away or I will have to sue you !
Talking of words. Has anyone but me picked up on Talking Heads using the word "closestess" as in the 4 am news, Pyramid Fire report "The closestess houses were some miles away". Heavens above, the Eiffel Tower was "Some miles away " also.
Scary, the illiteratii are taking over.
Oh words SWMBO is the kind of person who polishes potatoes, and makes the sunlight take its shoes off before it comes in the house, BUT. She was cleaning off the dining room table mess with the jeans I just wore for two hours. Got her. I was reading my new Wader book
"Do you know were those jeans have been?"
"No" Surprised.
"I wore them without underwear for the last week while I was in the fish farm ditch with the Grebes"
Dead silence. I will retrieve them from the dustbin later. I lied. I threw the others away last week, these are fine. As I have always aspired to ,the smallest of pleasures can be found in the silliest of places if you seize the moment. Unfortunately she is talking to the Vice Witch about a new table. May have to fess up as both cars are dead ! And the fundage is lowish.
Seizing the moment, and words continued.
I came across 2 first rate words, and if you are a kid in your 20s do this. You can not be prosecuted they are all valid words.I am pondering the idea myself
Go into the fruit and veggie department at your local large Supermarket (OK Redundancy), and start throwing a hissy fit. "Shrieking I need the produce manager now"
If and when the poor fellow arrives. Look him straight in the eye and say "Fetch me the Mocteroof, immediatelly or I will call the Health department"
This will induce a state of panic at once.
"The what, why?" The poor chap will cry.
Death blow.
"Are you kramers selling frubbish with out a licence"
Go heavy and long on the F in Frubbish
Its actually quite harmless AND TRUE.
Mocteroofs, a very obscure word. means the people who take low quality or spoiled fruit and "frubbish them". Frubbishing is the art of waxing and doctoring the produce and fruit so the customer will think its top quality and buy without question. Been there? Tossed your pear after the first bite, yes you got frubbished !
Oh and a "Kramer" is one who sells such Frubbish. Again extra strenth and length on the "other" F word.
Birded briefly, just horrid, the truck can sit. I put my "easy tools "in ice water.If you can't fix it with a paint stirrer (Screwdriver) and a meat mallet(Rubber hammer) and duct tape I am screwed Early start tomorrow. A kid went to Hospital with 3rd degree burns from leaning on a metal playground seat
This is the worst summer, heat and humidity wise I have suffered in Blythe.
But when fall and winter get here would not be anywhere else. I rediscovered something my mother used in England, come hell or highwater she used it. Ever taken frozen underwear off the line and put them in the gas oven before wearing them to school ? I think they were put out there in the rain to save on the rinse cycle. We are talking Winter in Cottingham Yorkshire. I am sure my brothers remember my stunned born and raised San Diego cheerleader amazed at bringing in frozen clothes and using the wooden rack known as a clothes drier that stood by the coal fire !
Poor girl.
Yes the solar clothes dryer.
Reset the posts ,strung the lines, bought the pegs.
Going green !
Pulled the plug on the electric clothes dryer, bought a bunch of those spirally light bulbs, four for $5 with Edison rebates, replacing the others as they die.Turn off everyone we do not use Read the box, looked at my stash.If the literature is right I may have to include these in my will. I will have at least 2 cases left when I shuffle off this mortal coil.
The good news. My electric bill for last month, with heat and everything and AC running like a big dog, and we are all electric for Everything including well pump dropped from $315 to $185. I am liking it,try it.
Well that is more than enough for one day, and way too much crap to sort through. Simply for fun. Oh the highlight of the day as I typed the above line. One of the training jets from Yuma came zooming over along the river, illegally low. The terriorists in the front picked up the sound as it came south, slowly for a change, but they looked up as it flew by they chased it down the fence full tilt until they hit the other end. Hope springs eternal. Another small humourous moment.
regards rh

Monday, July 13, 2009

blythe birds cooking and downloading pictures

OK You get two willets.Running backwards and forwards. I get au jus steak sandwiches (a half) with home made bread,fried green tomatoes (Some) and my home fries especial.(probaly six? ) SWMBO lurks. Actually I don't get them yet I have to cook some bits, but the prep is done !It is so funny I always try to lose weight in the summer. Sitting behind a desk eating stuff in a paper case with 3 Mand M eyeses and green frosting, and a plate of something that looks vagually like Yak vomit with lettuce and noodles, a proud child brings from "Food arts". But when it gets this hot I start cooking. I love to cook !And there goes that weight idea. What the hell ?
No birds per se. Spent way too long sorting throughh Cliff Swallows. The main wader spots are so perfect, I am quivering.....but ?
I was at the fish farm probably before most of you joined the gridlock, and lined up GBHeron GW Heron, Cattle Egret 2 Snowies a green , and a Least Bittern. It would have been one of those "Photo shop" play with pics to see them all. A quad came by they split, can't complain it was the owner.
How you know you live in Blythe !
Parked totally illegally facing traffic with the back end of my truck in the wrong lane blocking a residential entrance. (Listen if the sun is in the wrong place so I can scan swallows on the wires, and I can take pictures I am not to blame, call Copernicus )That was the main theme of my defence, when a CHP officer went by got about two hundred yards away and turned around. And came back. Now my beat up truck 200k miles plus and purring looks like every oyher damn desert truck. White flaking paint, torn up duct tape enhanced seat cover, cracked windshield, tailgate you can't open,turn light that does not work a brake light that comes on at random fishing pole with no licence. and no front licence plate, its in the back behind the bag of dog food that needs to be taken out sometime and the plastic milk crates you where going to make a shelf out of with the POffice plastic bucket with "Possession of this illegally will result in a $75 fine" or something similar. You start to panic, especially when he pulls up along side and its "A new one"
I promise you, all those "I meant to put the licence sticker on, where the Hell is the insurance , oh shit where did I put my wallet ? did I even bring it " panics happened. $5 saved me.
A while back the school student body manufactured magnetic stickers, that look incredibly like official local stickers. Got me a pair, stick them on the old truck, you look very important from a distance, especially in a truck like mine !Thats all anyone drives any way !
"What are you doing "
"You work for the school district, you have the stickers"
(Oh no ,not in possesion of a stolen truck)
"You're that bird guy at the high school, kinda science guy right ?"
"Hey me and my buddies want to play tennis, do you know who I can call to find out if we can use the courts at night"
Happy to help. He left happy.
I guess he got his tennis lights , he waves to me now, happy to wave back. More tomorrow.rh

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Wader time.

Now is the time for some good looking waders to move through, and they are sneaking in . Over the last couple of years, I have snapeed a few. Every book has definitive photos, or paint 'em. Mine I like to stick a bit of Art into, I wish he would quit snivelling and keep still it is not hat painfull. Gone back to the Michael Jackson debacle. Look on the bright side it was going to be the "R Higsons Blythe birthday parade" all day, but the networks cancelled. Joe has a flat tire any way. Enjoy the pics my Birthday gift from me.Roger