Saturday, January 2, 2010

My NEW YEARS resolutions, and a cactus wren.

NEW years resolutions. After far too many years of college like stupidity,hanging out with scots, and Aussies I learned to wait until the 2nd to make them.In my youth,I usually broke them before the First was over, if I could remember them. This leads to 364 days of remorse and depression caused by talk show hosts admonishing me for lack of moral strength and hypocrisy for making them in the first place. People like fat ass Oprah "Losing weight, (I admit I did not make it butt wait until next year)", and Phony Docter Phil "You must stay faithful to your wife,(only until she catches you and you realise you are going to lose half of everything in divorce court)"
Excellent resolution models. Notice how their resolutions include bracketed exclusions (We are not aware of) ? So as I wait for the sun to come up, I will disclose mine.
Well just 2 of them as examples
I will not take up the game of golf because it causes you to marry swedish nannies, and make 30 million a year And stray from the straight and narrow (Thus allowing me to stray from the straight and narrow, as long as I do not play golf,marry a swedish nanny etc etc catching on)
I will control my intake of salt, especially on Albertsons Green tomatoes that I fry in too much butter (easy one, did not say sea salt,did not specify pan or deep fry, brand of butter, Did carefully specify Albertsons Green tomatoes. Do not get between me and Priscillas home grown heirloom tomatoes)
If you want to make frightningly all encompassing ones.
Be very politically and legally correct.Such as
And you get caught in a cupboard on a State jet in Barbados, when you were supposed to be hiking, with a 17 year old spanking you with a Herring. Just smile and say, I did not say specifically with what, and how "
Works for politicians. The sun has dragged its feet over the HorizonNeed to go look at Sparrows. Got the "goes, but not far vehicle" today. I had the long range one yesterday. I did the entire route of my Patch as depicted in Schrams guide, including a variation. Cuts in at 38.3 milles

No comments:

Post a Comment