Friday, September 18, 2009

edjerk- ators and idiots

Too funny, a schoolish observation
Total panic, meetings to discuss meetings and reform for meetings. THE STATE IS COMING IN TO EVALUATE the school. This usually means (Yes I am stereotyping, so what)
Every one rushes around wasting time and effort on crap they are too narrow sighted to see. they already have their agendas. Why worry, we are going to fail anyway !
You think these jerks are going to give up their six figure paychecks by saying "Looks good to me" .How naive can "Administrators" be. Oh we failed by 12 points on the wacky scale they will be back in two years, everyone run around... Christ what fools. If you where making in excess of 125k a year to drift around scaring people by your presence and doing NOTHING, god forbid teaching 213 9th graders a day. My task. Lets swan and pose and suck pencils and look erudite.
Laughable , none have taught in a classroom. After all they are educators, they do not need to deal with kids. They always seem to get steered away from me for some reason. Here is a typical school evaluation committee, they stay in different hotels and drive seperate cars. Now you know they are important. They meet at random times, and talk behind closed doors while hunting through documents and consuming my years science budget $253 in treats, and placating pencils engraved with "PVHS is so happy to share our shool with you " etc you get the idea. After 11 years, of this beauracratic bull crap I can describe the team before they get here. Yes "Educator Profiling" 101.
the first will be a skinny spinster, in tweed skirt and flat shoes,with a sensible top, and hair that looks like it needs a wash and the bad dye job redone. She usually leaps in the air with a look on landing of "Oh my god I am in Blythe and a man talked to me, what horrid thing is next" and scurries into the conference room and hen pecks muffins. The next is a toss up. Its either Grendls Mother clad in full battle tweed dragging a conestoga of records behind her, in an ark with two wheels, breathing fire and hitting both sides of the corridor as she lurches ponderously to her seat in "The Sanctum" Where upon she sends the early lady into coniptions and then for a 40 gallon starbucks and a case of pigs feet Or ms "I got up at midnight so I could look this cold and professional, check out how good I look as this is related to my intelligence" Usually slaps the first lady and allows her to carry her Blackberry for her.Then comes tinkerteach, perfectly groomed , scampers from spot to spot waving arms, scratching perfectly groomed goatee, whilst nodding head and uttering repeatedly "yes I see I had not looked at it that way" " of course you are right" "you know I missed that inference" " I think we should implicate that action on a team decision, but only after you have approved it of course" and my favourite, something along the lines of " I think that we should all look at our own recommendations, and to be fair to all wait until you can share your thoughts with us before we commit, thus keeping an honest open flow of information"
You get the idea. Then we get the wanner be Nazi war camp administrator, who had to go in to Education, and everyone will now pay for this error. Usually found burrowing in documents like a jack russel down a rat hole tail quivering, when he backs out clutching a document proving the schools depravity and noncompetance. Gleefully , his iron cross swaying in the wind, wild eyed and nostrils flaring stroking the blood soaked notches on his baton,one for every school he demoralized and terrified, hops around shrieking "lock the school down, excecute the staff, I have found two documents for free lunches from 1989 which clearly show fraud. Here the mothers name is juanita Delgado, a year later it is Maria salcido, and the father has two different names and the child is called smith" Will stick in a pic for dressing. Shower, then Tropical KBird studying for tomorrow !
regards rh
ps Almost let this one slip by. Good to know we still have "I did not see it so it must be an escape, morons" hanging on in the uk. I thought they had all come to california. But NO they linger on. 7 ultra lucky folks had an undeniable Tufted Puffin drop in front of them, in an estuary in England. Immediately some crack pot eschewed the record as an escape One. Obviously because he did not see it, and two, because it was not off a rocky cliff. I am stunned. So someone in Europe is raising Tufted Puffins and tossing them into estuaries to confound the British birding world. What an idiot the Puffin raiser is. I hope he changes to a rocky out point near that idiots home from now on, so it can be accepted !
I give up!

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