Why I am not a real man.

just a pic from this am, did my cicuit got the papers 10 sp of wader at the sewage plant. 4 Solit Sands, either their Migration route has shifted, or there are more of them. I am now averaging 20 a year easily, with 7 in a day once. No land birds of note. Slowly getting warm, expecting my long time birding Chum Claude E tomorrow, will be fun to spend the day birding with something that talks back, Terriers are limited. Hell Claude and I go back 35 years,and he is on my list of "If you go after him, you go through me" friends, his companion Mike is in the same "Pod". Two of the nicest human beings you could ever hope to meet, have not seen him in ten or more years. It is good to have REAL totally honest friends. They are hard to find. If you find one DO not lose them, and defend them like a rabid dog.
I digress.
I come in from birding.
OH silly Me, the following is not to be used as an example of Male hostility, or how a marriage can be destroyed after 36 years, copied By Dr Phil, or in anyway used to describe my sexual predilictions, political views, the non status of my bank account, is in compiance with nafta bbc and other regulations. Illegal copying will result in a sudden bang on the door and SWMBO will be parking her broom and cauldron with you for a week. People who are not tough enough to eat real SPAM, with the salty snot on top should stop here. Contains no MSG and only 25% of the total daily requirement of bullshit. Can cause sleep deprivation, suicide, enlarged gonads, bleeding, vomiting, voting republican. Am I the only one fed up with that stuff. Why don't cars have a warning sticker on them like drugs ? I am sure GM and Ford kill more people a year and should have warning stickers on their product bigger than the ones on my sun tan cream ?
Oh Manliness
Here is a conversation for your entertainment. M is Me S is SWMBO PD is the "Perfect Dickhead " from down the street. It is a one act play.
Please feel free to adapt it and use it at your local Playhouse.
The scene, the kitchen of a modest rental in Blythe it is early morning and the temperature is rising. The front yard contains 3 large Pine trees whose fallen needles poison the soil killing the Grass, that S is trying to nurture. There is sufficient greenery in the 40 by 20 foot area, that a gram of Crystal Meth and 3 continuation school student drop outs could get it done with nail scissors in 30 minutes
M entering from right, with bag of optics in one hand the newspapers in the other.
S Can't you shut the door after you ?
M I have my handsfull !
S Isee ( heavy on the sarcasm)
M piles stuff on table turns around and shuts door. Move camera in close to catch the here we go again look on his face, sits down and realises the coven has decreed something,
M Did you notice the lawn needs mowing ? (Pan camera to lawn you could play an entire NFL season on and never bend a blade ).
M Frankly no .
S Thats typical of you, you don't care about the yard.
M For christs sake we live in the desert we can gravel it and Xeroscape it for nothing. The gravel is free and.....
S (Back turned stalks to the refridgerator ) I suppose you would like a cold drink ? Well they are in here, I will go get the lawnmower.
M (under muffled breath) Go ahead knock yourself out, like i give a shit to start with.
M (Gets on phone with splendid friends mike and Claude, S walks off stage left and leaves door and gate both open Terriers run off down street. S bursts in and shrieks)
S You let the dogs out you asshole
M No you did.
S Ok, I did, what are we going to do?
M We are doing nothing. You let them out you catch them.
SHORT INTERMISSION as the rest of the converation is deleted due to foul untrue language, blood spitting, hurling of snake bundles , hob goblins, hob thrushes, and assorted shrieking of vile curses, and threats of bowel twisting ,cramping of the groins and head swelling. M slowly closed the door and went back to his cross word.
Time passes M wanders aimlessly through the hhouse picking up a book finding something interesting he drags out another book and soon a Mont Blanc of literature, sufficient to hide behind is bequeathed to the kitchen table. Rap at the door.
S and PD clutching terriers. Toss them im in,M closes screen door.
s and PD scan M and say in unison, with vibratto and pathetic fear.
In unison
S and PD, You are in your pyjamas already at 10:30 in the morning ?
M No if you were to be aware you will notice I am wearing a loose cotton top, which also serves as a Night shirt, and baggy cotten pyjama pants which are also light weight , and in this weather are supremely comfy. You may have noticed other people on the face of the god damn earth in similar climates, wearing the same fu999g stuff. And quite frankly at sixty I will wander around with nothing but a ...
S and PD exit rapidly.
Pan to view through front window. S and PD fussing over lawnmower. Gets started amidst giant clouds of blue smoke. S starts shoving lawnmower backwards and forwards generating carbon emissions larger than a Diplodocus footprint, or a barn of flatulent rhinos.
m sighs and hunches over computer, door bell rings. This is of course a real bell like Wols including a tuft of eeyores tail(actually my horse and it does have the sign)
M Opens door thoughtfully.
PD You know if you were a real man you would mow the lawn for your wife
( Intermission I have never had a more perfect set up in my life,. I just could not believe he said that. I almost fell over. Gosh it was perfect. I was stunned for a second at his naeivity ")
M ( screaming with laughter inside )
M You know what I thought you were an asshole, but if YOU want to be a real man then why don't you go and mow the lawn, for my wife. That is the best F---g trade I have ever heard of, good luck with putting up with her, and trim the edges"
M Slams door
The end
I have not seen either of them since.
Looks like it is Fried British Spam,and HP baked beans on toast with a splash of Lee and Perrins and a cold Guinness for dinner tonight.My care package of imported british foods arrived from Barry at the tea cosy Ah the food of Princes It sure is nice and quiet around here.
Won't last, probably met up with the covern. My right leg is kinda swelling.
All for fun. Unless of course you are here !
Roger

Some pics and needless comments

No idea what the Flytcher is doing in there need to go back and figure out what it is. Unless someone has a bright idea. Having a nice day. Cave Swallow confirmed, another Blythe beauty. Now except for a short whisk around the "Circle" and a grab of Pravda West (the press republican diatribe, gosh what a biased rag, the press enterprise. Done with it today, will pay 25c more for the Desert Sun from now on) stayed in the relative cool of the house. Thermostat set at 82F. This is a new energy efficient double glazed ,mega insulated home, my electric bill was $356 last month, go figure.
When I turn on the TV and there are a talking heads sweating the brands of beer these three chumps are drinking at a peace making pow wow this afternoon. Shit who cares. I am half watching this commentary right now some asshole just said and I quote "In order for this meeting to have a reflection on America, it should have been american beer for everyone" Please america march on the studios and strangle these idiots. Then go after the ones who had the "Exclusive" interview in "an Exclusive location" only to be seen on this channel, with Michael Jacksons Chef.
Has this once powerful country, I adopted , and call my own. Been destroyed by mediocrity. The cold war could not do it, but I am thinking the Communists thought up reality shows, and "Americas got an endless list of deluded idiots who think they have Talent, or are idols " is linked to a Satellite.That the North Koreans then put on tv to suck the brain power and inventiveness out of the average vacuous TV addicted American mind. No wonder "You think you are smarter than a fifth grader" makes me cringe. I think with the way we are headed "So prove you are dumber than a 2nd Grader" will be the hit next year. Coz if you go in the Blythe gene pool we can win it easily.
Disgruntled in Blythe !
Roger
Maybe I will be gruntled tomorrow !

Racial profiling, and bird record profiling

Now this is going to take some serious typing. But I am not going anywhere fast, got a bit of excess heat, chasing swallows. So its indoors with the fan going and a giant glass of god damn sugar free non carbohydrate lite no msg fat removed organic sodding salt free Lemonade. SWMBO will do anything to kill me.I will wait til she hits the bathroom, and at least squeeze a lemon into it, so it does not not taste and look like Kangeroo Piss.
Sorry the heat !
I am so amazed at the current lack of intelligence displayed by the news media !I have started watching the farming channel RFD in the mornings. I can spout Pork Belly futures, you want to know about Barley prices I am in. Model railroads. Cutting horses, I can watch them all day long. In fact I may do that tomorrow, cattle auctions, learning how to shout the prices ! Awesome.
Anything to get away from Michael Jackson. Why in the name of (insert anything you find Holy) are we as a nation wasting all this time, effort, TV time and tax payers money, so psycho people who have never seen him can carry candles and "He was a hero" themselves on to TV. I am sorry it is my blog and I can write what I want.
Michael Jackson was a child molesesting bankrupt drug addict with no nose, who had the talent of a snail, owed his career to the parasitic family, Gordy, Motown and the media saprophytes. I am tired of this fool who never impressed me, who has been nothing for 15 years screwing up my TV news. Where the Hell was the media when Sid Barret died, a far more talented musician. (For those under 30 a founding member of Pink Floyd) Heavens above can't Tom Hanks dance on a sofa, or Oprah get naked, or some one declare they are gay and kiss on TV or the Batcherolette strip amd shew she is a man, so we have some real news ? Heck I guess the genocide and starvation in the world has stopped. I sure am glad of that. Otherwise we would hear about it. The news people in this country are so quick to say "The state radio/tv/media, has refused to transmit information concerning the situation in the Northern provinces choosing to transmit select information"
Explain to me why nbc , abc, cbs, choose to transmit information about Michael Jackson, the Octomom, and a pig that adopted a kitten.Is that not select information. What else is happening in the US? I have serious problems with todays TV news media.
Which extends to mty next comment racial profiling
I have been racially profiled, I am English, a blue blood Englishman, (Colour and Race combined) and I have been arrested by the police handcuffed, put in a squad car and taken to jail. There I confessed, it was a humiliating experience and it was all my fault.Now I am not known for my tact, and over the last 12 years I have learned to temper my mouth. I must admit sometimes I have put myself in situations where sub conciously I need to argue with a passing cop ! I annoyed Peppermint Patty so much, I like to think I caused her to transfer. It always makes standing by the road , standing on the roof of your truck with the scope, facing on coming traffic and not seeing anything in a flooded field entertaining. I am a man of simple pleasures. But I learned one fateful day in Imperial Co not to push it. The chap I entered in to with a war of logic, which I felt I was winning was at the end of his shift, hot and pissed off (I found out later, when we talked he had pulled a double shift, and his wife was pissed) And I was wagging my gob and being a smart ass, and gleefully listing all the people I could call to make his life miserable because......He grabbed me spun me around , pulled my arms back, cuffed me and put me in the back of his Patrol Car. He locked up my car , gave me the Keys back and called dispatch to call my wife. That learned me, nice fellow I taught his son
Now where was the Bishop of Liverpool etc jumping up and down about my "Whitey' and "Limey " rights ? I am sick of this racial profiling garbage, I have had Black people who are friends who have said " Oh He is from england , he is our tame limey" I don't mind , they were good friends. I have had white people shout "hey whats up limey" Good friends also.Is that not racial profiling ?
I have kids walking up and down the corridors at school shouting "Hey Nigger what you up to" yes , white kids do it as well, to other white kids. The word Nigger has become a word meaning "Yo de dog". But I say to a black person "Hey Nigger get my groceries" I am wrong. Times are changing folks, it is not the "N" word for todays youth. It has lost its real meaning at last, thank you deity.
Oh Racial profiling.
If a cop tells you to shut up,it is wise to comply I do not care if you are the head legal nigger at Princeton. The cop is usually stressed, overworked, and the last thing he wants is someone jumping his ass, qouting law , civil rights, and your credentials, and probably waving a cane in his face.Plus the Cop has a gun, a club, mace, and handcuffs which he is trained to use,and there were 3 others. Wit, education, pHds and colour lose .The man was a complete idiot, I suggest Princeton re-evaluate his tenure, tact , anger management, and sensibility. Got to go see how anna nicole smiths kids are doing, and if they dug her up again. Busy Busy busy
Roger

Just pics, rain Jethro Tull and stuff

The first green fluff ball in my last pac-o-pics, is my record shot of GC Kinglet, I have no idea how the hell that got in their. May just submit it as Blythe Foliage Gleaner.And the Merlin, looked very much like a female "Black" Merlin which would be a very odd record for the desert, but they have made it to New Mexico. The rest you can figure out I am sure. Please remember all my pics are from within a 15 mile radius of my home near the Colorado River, and in California. Occaisionally I wander up to to Styx which is 25 miles away, and an higher altitude to look for Canyon Towhee. So it actually is quite remarkable the number of species and opportunities you can find in a DUMP like this. Thats my, Christ its 114 at 2pm,the wind is blowing and the humidity is rising again, and I want to go birding grumpiness coming through. I have already straightened my cubicle twice even SWMBO approved, and immeditely moved in with what looked like a white rastafarian, held by the legs that she dipped head first in a bucket of eye watering cleanser, and proceeded to wash the floor with. Poor fellow, she just plunged into the toilet. I have locked the door. White tiles, neat ! I know what I will do.

Pause..........

My son, I raise the fruit of my loins good, pobly bester than most ! For my Birthday, sent me a kind of thing like a photo album for cds. Many years ago I introduced him to Jethro Tull, and he gobbled it up, and become a huge fan. How big ? He knows I love the band too. The "Photo album " has 30 CD's in it. Just fired up Thick as a Brick, might as well type and try and get through them all !
Rain ?
I was in K Mart, in the gardening section buying $10, 25 lb bags of bird seed for $2:29. "Half price clearnce" Thats what the sign said . You go figure. Somewhere I have a sign I stole from Albertsons selling "CHEST NUTS" last Xmas. I ponder it periodically, in awe. Anyway at the back of one of the ill stocked shelves was a box with "Radio Controlled Rain Gauges" in it , it proclaimed. Now I have a fondness for messing with Radio Controlled stuff, I am still mastering my radio controlled Dragonfly. Radio controlled Rain ? I am in like Flynn. Turns out you get a rain gauge and a thing you have in the house the tells you it is raining connected by wireless. $25. I think not. Rapid negotiating with former student. I got 2 for $5 . I gave one to perfect neighbour Joe, who has not stopped laughing after I told him it comes with an alarm to tell you when its raining. Last time I buy him anything !.
Set mine up, on the outside fence. God damn alarm went of several times. I got 11 inches of rain the night before last,, and 3 inches already today. Moved it. It was at the lowest part of the fence where the Giant Raccoon from Hell jumps over to steal cat food and the cat jumps over to see if there is any food left.They rattle the treadle !! So I moved it
BIrd pics. A couple of fun pics , a Bank Swallow in Blythe is always nice, I had to ry my patience until the waders coincided, and please explain why , I do not have a picture of a Cave Swallow ?
Just took a swift look at my rain guage, still not raining.

Be good to one another.
Roger

Try ah gain

Spent an inordinate amount of pre dawn time downloading this meager offering. The joys of landline only. Thankyou verizon, up to 15 mins a pic. I will spend my post prandial time trying again. as Vivian Stanshall wrote
"A pale sun poked impudent marmalade fingers through the griizzle blind shadowed glass, and sent the shadows scurrying, like convent girls menaced by a tramp "
It is happening right now . Time to grab the birding bag and rush.
More later
Roger

pictures

Sorting pictures, send them as they come . They are varied I no idea what you will end up with !well that is all you get for now,if that gets through for some reason it won't accept pictures, and computer froze. Apologies. Will try again
rh

It's about time Pictures only.

I am headed out birding, but when I get back I will start sorting my pictures and clearing up my troglodytic hovel from which I type. I find that instead of the boring tile, a scattering of LPs, bird books , VHS tapes,
cd cases without the correct cd in them, Album covers without albums in them, notes to myself which I never followed through on 2 hats a shirt, the Gandalf staff I never finished a Blackthorn cane from SW Ireland, optical equipment an old Canon Film camera I am messing with trying to figure out how to use the lenses on my digital, maybe duct tape, a stuffed chicken(dog toy) and 2 sleeping dogs. and a cat. I do not have a clue what is in that Xmas light stable and farm box, but I know it is not that. SWMBO has that in her Witch room, surrounded by horse figurines. Some kind of curse causing alter methinks.I look around A cowboy hat that does not fit me on the lamp, and my CORRECTLY folded by a registered Harley Hells Angel american flag bandana, which I wore with complete leathers when I rode "Bitch" on a Harley with others. One of the most exciting days of my life ! Among the nicest folk I ever met.
I find it quite attractive and homely.
I look around and realise there is not enough time to relate the next five shelves. How to explain the radio controlled mouse I built, the wireless rain gauge and the cricket cabin.Amongst other stuff!!
Gone birding. Pics later
Roger